“I like being me”

A few months back you came up with this ageless conversation starter “I’ve got good news and bad news”. Besides being surprised by the fact that your 4 year old self had this arrow in your quiver, I was now intrigued to know how you would follow up with the usage.
”Bad news is that I don’t like sushi. Good news is that because I’m not going to have it, there would be more for you to eat “ - you went on with the penchant of a proficient chatterbox that you are.
Apparently, your friend Bea (Beatrix) in school told you of her love for Sushi and therefore you were aware of its existence. However, given how picky you are with your food (taking after me, I guess) you had made up your mind that the name was enough to put you off.
Mind you, it wasn’t even the raw fish variety of Sushi that we were having, just the innocent, smart and cute rice and chicken rolls kind. But you’ve decided for now and I respect your decision.

You are now in the third and last term of your Reception year. The good news is, you are now a fair bit into reading those little phonics-based books with little stories and some big words. The bad news is that since it is homework of sorts, you are put off by reading at times.

Amber (you), in Mr T’s (my) class. The writing is on the wall ...

Most days, by the time I get home, you’ve already settled down and had a shower or bath (“Relaxing Bath” - as you put it) and we get straight away into reading the book you’ve got for the day. My job is to take you through the stumbling words and sounds and to that end I try and introduce little changes to our routine. We have at times snack breaks at halfway point or maybe breaks to discuss anything random that you wanted to - just to break reading down to a fun thing rather than a task by itself.

I have recently got some white-sheets that we could put up on any wall to make ourselves little white boards. We use them to practice difficult words as well as for you to try and form sentences of your own. One of these days you wrote - “I like being me”.

I asked what you meant by that. I had not doubt that the depth of that little line is not for you to know at this age, but I still asked just to be sure if you had some semblance of what you’ve just said. “It means you like being yourself” - you said without any hesitation, deviation or repetition - as if you were a seasoned player of the game Just A Minute.

For Bea’s 5th birthday too, you took a stand on wearing what you wanted to and really lost your cool when neither your mum and I agreed with your choice. “Whenever we are going for a birthday or a party, mumma or dad or daadi never let me wear what I want to” you cried out loud, visibly agitated, frustrated.
I took you in my arms and asked you to calm down and tell me what that was all about. You repeated your statement to me, punctuated by sobs this time but much quieter. By that time you were already wearing the blue dress that your mum wanted you to wear so I promised to respond to your query later.

At Bea’s Birthday, in the blue dress you didn’t want to wear

On our way to the birthday, in the car, I tried to draw a parallel in how you were dealing with Arjun a couple of days back. Him being a year younger to you, you were very much the teacher for him, explaining, mentoring him. My absurd question to you was - wouldn’t you as the elder of the two ask him not to go to a birthday party in his undies if he wanted to do so ? As expected, you agreed that you would ask him to wear something proper to a party. My follow-up was to use that example to justify how all of us, your family, wanted the best for you and therefore told you if your choice of clothes wasn’t as per an occasion.

You agreed, half heartedly though.

With Arjun and Sky photo bombing very efficiently!

Dear Daughter,
The good news is, you are so right in liking you for who you are. The bad news is, we will continue to have altercations for the rest of our lives exactly for that reason.
It fills me with so much hope that you could form that sentence “I like being me” - not just for your future linguistic abilities but also in your willingness to start on the first step to self-confidence. The world is your oyster or even whatever you want it to be, once you are confident enough to be yourself first.
Your frustration in not being able to wear what you wanted to, in honesty, was another example of you trying to be you and being denied to do so. You are being asked to conform to someone else’s -your parents’, wishes and being denied a choice of your own. This spirit of free being, although commendable, like everything else, comes with a price tag of consequences. We as your well wishers would prefer for you to have an understanding of the consequences before you commit yourself to a course of action.
In this case the cost of going in somewhat shabby clothes would have been losing out on probable first impressions. As you would learn, Science might run on facts but Society runs on prejudices. Looking presentable, walking into an event appearing ready for it gets you to pocket some of those more favourable first impressions and avoid negative prejudices.

So, dear daughter. Continue to indulge in yourself and go on celebrating yourself for who you are. But do keep a patient ear for honest feedback and some room for improvement in yourself as well.