Dear Daughter ....

"We wouldn't be wet if its raining and we are in a car, would we dad?" you said on a stormy, wet morning in October 2017. We were on our way to your swimming classes. "Or if we are in our home, or the gara­ge or gym or marquee....'' You continued in your charming sing song way. Your cosy feeling of having comforts and choices enveloped me too, invoking that warm parental pride of being able to provide and protect. We were making preparations for a post Diwali party at our home. After your classes, the two of us went off to shop for some party supplies and decorations. As part of a phenomenon as old as shops and toys, you were captivated by the charm of those soft colorful toys, adorning the aisles and shelves. As is the duty of every child, you started pleading with me to get you one of those soft toys. And as every parent does, I resisted the urge to give in, trying to explain how you have more than enough of soft toys. At one point you said " But t...

I hope a faint mark on your chin doesn't trigger any painful memories when you read this. Instead, I hope it leads you to a wealth of fond memories of your school. New friends, inspirational teachers, maybe a few mildly awkward moments and tonnes of learning to see you through an eventful life. Where did that mark on chin come from? And how is it related to a new school-I hear you wonder on a telepathic channel miraculously working through time & space. Well, despite all your mom's planning & everyone's best inten­tions, almost 12 hours before started your first day at school, you fell in the playground. I had taken Sky for her evening walk and some time in the playground is what gets you to tag along. We were almost on our way back when quite a few things happened all at once. The other children in the playground were leaving, their mom’s were fussing over Sky who was busy staring at her friend Aubrey from her classes. I looked back at towards you and you were...

You turned four a few days month back. Your mom and I have been pushing that as a 'coming of age' number to get you to step up where need be. So we egg you on with wheedles like - "a four year old drinks her milk out of a cup, not a bottle. So hold this Cup Rheya" or "You are now old enough to tidy up your own toys". Or "What do you mean 'are we not going ?' Take my car and drive yourself to pre-school!" Nah! That last one isn't true. I'd never give you my car, I only asked you to pick up mamma's car ! 😜 Most of the times you happily shoulder the respon­sibility as growing older is the in thing until you are in your 20s. In your little 'social circle' you still look up to being at least as old as the princesses and fairies and Elsas and Sophies. I think to the one who justifiably claims the highest age there is a prize of a little momentary feeling of entitlement. But then that is common across all victories - entitleme...

The question was inevitable. But this time you knew the answer. At least part of it. The part about him being in the black & white picture hanging in our study. Today (27/5/17) you brought it up early on, on a saturday morning while we were just having a little lie-in time. We somehow stumbled on the topic of who's Dad was where and you asked "Dad, where's your dad?" more because you were ready with your answer. Unlike other times, I took a moment to get my act together and take it forward. For this was one of those rarest of rare mornings when I had woken up fully aware that he was in my dream last night. Dear Daughter, Dreams and memories have a strange way of leaving a mark, a flavour, an aftertaste of sorts. I barely remember the dream from last night with my dad in it but I do remember he was in it. Maybe it wasn't his face, maybe not his voice (I have zero recollection of his voice) but definitely his presence that has left a definite melancholic kind of...

You aren't exactly excited about it. I have no way to tell if you are secretly dreading or looking forward to it. You say you don't want her home but your face does a lot of lighting up when you see her picture, so fingers crossed, There is hope! You were the one to pick the name- Sky- based on the Paw Patrol character that you are fond of. I wanted to name him / her (again, your choice of strengthening the female majority at home) as Pishtu on Pishti. That's partly because of our shared predilection for pistaccio. We've had sessions of cracking and crunching through bowl full of the green nuts in minutes. Also because it makes sense to have a desi (Indian) sounding name (pishta is the hindi name for pistaccio) for a pet in UK, just like it somehow made sense to have a christian name for pets in India. We've visited Sky thrice so far but you've barely met her twice. The first time might have caused the problem. We were greeted in a boisterous, clamorous, uproar...

It has been a long time. Lots to write about- Xmas, family visit, birthdays etc. Let me start with how amazingly quick your growth has been. Now I know what a parent is thinking about when they are intently gazing at their child, with a glint of a tear and hint of a benign smile. If you ever caught me doing that, chances are I was wondering about that handful of a being I held in my arms not too long ago and trying to understand where in your grown up version is the little one hidden? We've been to some of your friends' birthday parties. For one, you are by far the tallest amongst them - that's when they are turning 4 and you are just around three and a half!  It is an experience by itself to observe you dealing with your little social circle. You go from being self aware to a state of reluctant abandon in a matter of a few minutes. However you retain this shy, happy in your own world attitude that is so typical of me in a gathering. You could be found doing your own th...