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"I'm not doing anything"





This is a clip of us having fun while holidaying in Majorca, Spain. It was one of the best holidays ever, full of  'not doing anything' moments. Lying down and just chilling on the beach, waddling and playing in the swimming pool,  lazing around like the happy people on the cover of glossy magazines. Or those happy families at the happy endings of movies.

However, at three years and a bit, you went ballistic at the mere mention of venturing near the Sea. Not happy ballistic but scared ballistic! You refused, or rather, revolted at the idea of getting anywhere close to where the gentle waves might slosh on your feet.

On one hand, the parent in me still draws an assurance from your particularly safe approach. On the other hand the sans-sea-experience child in me cries out for you to step forth, splash away and never miss a chance to mingle with the mighty sea.

On the last day of our holiday, after all gentle cajoling, bribes and promises had failed, I had to take matters in my hands.. Literally. I grabbed the swim-suit clad, Caribbean braided, sun-bathed, wailing you and walked into the sea.

You continued with your crying for a while but it came down to wordless noises of protests as you started enjoying the sea. The green-blue water was clear, calm and shallow on a comforting, sunny day. That's everything you could ask for, for a first intimate meeting with the seas - as against waiting for a very brief Touch-and-Go introduction at an age of 26 years - like me.

During early negotiations, I had promised you a horse carriage ride (for you it was the same as a 'horsie ride' ) if you agreed to enter the sea that is. Whether or not it was on your own accord, enter the sea you did. Therefore, as expected, even before the sea could wash away your tears, you were back to being your cheeky self and started with your little nosey questions like "can I come with you for the horsie ride now?"

So we went for a horse carriage ride in the back lanes of Alcudia, nearby the resort. Lulled and comforted by the soft click-clack of the horse's gentle gait, you rode your way to dreamland, ending a perfect holiday 'not doing anything'.

Dear daughter

'Not doing anything' is almost always a choice that everyone has in every situation but by no means is it the easiest one to execute or spot. Like any other choice, it comes with its own considerations, costs and complications. Interestingly, there is almost always another name for not doing anything. Silence, Lethargy, Relaxing - are the easier ones to identify and indulge in, as they are physically visible.
Inaction, confusion, status-quo, repetition, fear, even being impulsive or habitually driven are the trickier manifestations of not doing anything.
Quite often, in relationships and careers, the choice of not doing anything is like a trap that you walk right into, just because you don't realize when it changed from being normal to being a choice or taking up an opportunity.  It might not be the worst choice by itself but not being conscious of the choice you thereby made is by no means in your best interests. Assessing, identifying and naming your choice of not-doing-anything is often a good start to understand if that's the choice you really wanted to go with.

The sea that let us into its arms and relax was a culmination of a  lifetime of work, conscious choices, compromises and struggles for your mom and me. We hope to be able to steal many such memorable trips out of our busy lives, now with you running into the sea ahead of us and grabbing those lax moments that we all deserve.

More importantly, I hope we could leave with you all the right means, faculties and capabilities to choose as and when you want to do something … or do nothing.



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