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Can I want to have ...



That's how you ask for things now a days- "can I want to have cheese?"

"Can I want to have berries? ''


Most of the times it is accompanied by a respectful tone of pleading or request. That is how you have, although unintentionally, learnt the art of merging a demand and a request. Like a skilful diplomat. You watch quite a variety of programmes on TV now. Along with those come the advertisements full of happy smiling kids and happy smiling parents selling delightful, colourful toys. For quite a few of them you start with an almost hypnotised tone of "I want that one''.

Even while getting ready you seem to have formed your opinions about what you want to wear and how you want your hair done. Or not. You have definitely begun to assert yourself. And you are not even three yet!


Dean daughter,
'Want' or ' Desire' is all what life seems to be for most of us. Instant consumption and instant gratification. Quite a few times we end up seeking approval for what we desire - either from those who have the means to fulfil those desires or from ourselves. Your question, again inadvertently, knocks on the more important door of do we deserve to even desire?

Unfortunately, I'm not (yet) qualified to write authoritatively about conquering over your desires or what anybody deserves. I don't know if anyone can answer those questions for anyone else. I don't even know if having absolute control over your desires is even possible or just another eutopian ideal. For not having any desire sounds like just another desire. However I do have some thoughts about how you could manage these desires.

On the other side of each desire is a happy place where we want to be. We all want to be either those happy kids with toys in the commercials or their parents - happy in the happiness reflected by their kids. 

"But what is happiness?""-asks Don Draper in Mad Men, "Its just the moment before you want more
happiness" -he answers himself.
You might translate that to mean "desire leads to desire" (Bhagvat Geeta, Gautam Buddha) and hence worthy of being  shunned. 
My interpretation though focuses on the fact that no happiness is final and nor is it the first. Happiness is the temporary, transient outcome of a desire that proves not all desires are worthy of pursuit. In other words, not achieving your desires is neither non-fulfilment nor sorrow nor the end of the world. It just means you get to go back to your existing level of happiness, recognising the desire as just another  fickle thought in your ever-buzzing brain. 

I know, easier said than done! 
I believe the trick lies in acknowledging, appreciating and basking in the happiness within your grasp, before you jump onto the next one. The idea is not to abstain from happiness but to live and truly experience what is within your reach and within yourself.

Dear daughter, 
every mountain you start on might not be worth climbing up to the peak. You are fine to stop on your way and stare at the setting sun in front of you.
 


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