I still cherish the time we spend together while on our way to nursery. We sing songs - nursery rhymes or hindi movie songs (Your favorite now a days is 'Tooney maari entriyaan' for the catchy 'tan tan tan' in it) We look at traffic lights and their colors, cars and lorries and play some games about them. The game that works most often is spotting cars of different colours. You like spotting the police or ambulance cars - commonly referred to as nee-noo cars in your current age group. I have a red honda and that makes all red cars special for you.
"I'm going to the nursery in a red car. Oh! Look! There's a red car! And there's 'anoner' (another) red car! " - you would often exclaim in that sing song British manner of yours.
One of these odd sunny winter days, while waiting for the red traffic light to go green and switch to 'go-go-go' mode you saw some fluffy clouds flying past in their swift and gentle cloud-like manner.
"Dad. Where are the clouds going?" - you asked.
"They are going home" I replied.
"But we are not going home. We are going nursery " - you retorted with an inherent curiosity.
"They are going home to daadi (grandma) " I said.
"Oh! They are going to daadi. Bye bye clouds"
And then we started looking at the myriad of colours that the clouds were that day - from bright with orange-crimson to dull and grey. Some with a glint of sunshine like your eyes.
It might have been that same day when we learnt at the nursery that your very first friend for most of your two years at nursery, Ava, had moved away to a different town. We don't know if we would see her again anytime soon. Thankfully, it wasn't heartbreaking for you as you didn't realise that it was already time for life to make those irreversible, indelible changes on its way.
Dear daughter,
People come and go in our life like cars and clouds. We might or might not want them to go. We might or might not want a chance to say good bye. And we are never really ready for things to change.
Like our own cars, we like the familiarity in people around us. Like cars, we try and find comfort in their familiar nature, demeanor and the manner they carry our emotions with their's. We try and identify them as 'ours' to keep.
However, I think people in general, not just friends, are more like clouds than cars. What we get to see is just one dimension of their personality that we get hooked to. The cloud with the glitter of gold could just be borrowing its glow from the sun and might end up being the darkest cloud as soon as the sun is hidden by another cloud. Just like clouds, people appear familiar and full of light only with the right weather conditions. They might say the same of you and it would still be true. Change is the only constant and that is true of both people and clouds. There isn't one static shape or colour that you might apply to them and hold it for or against them. These attributes are only perceptions. However, stay with them long enough and you start to see patterns. The smart thing is to take these patterns into consideration when you decide who is worthy of your time and emotions.
And then there are the sun and the moon. You might have noticed how they tend to follow you even if you are in the fastest of cars. While on a dark and cloudy day, although you cant tell one dark cloud from another, there is no mistaking where the sun is. It would still make its presence felt even through such gloomy conditions. You might not see its familiar round face through the gloom that surrounds you but you know its out there nonetheless. Trying to guide you through the darkness and gloominess by being your natural source of light.
I do not think people are as disposable or dispensible as clouds. You need to allow yourself and others around you suitable time to read into patterns of mutual perceptions. Both of you would have your own special way of dealing with each other, your friends and families. That special way could be miles away from the initial perception you had. But that's as close as possible that you can come to rationally 'know' the shape of a cloud shaped person.
And that's where the similarities between clouds and people end. Out there in the infinite sky, you can't ever confuse an ever changing cloud with an ever stable sun or a moon or even stars. But in this very finite life, you can easily loose track of people who are your sources of strength amongst the variety of aquaintances.
The idea is to identify your own sun. The one that travels with you. The one that might hide and go away but always returns. And most importantly the one that you would be happy to change your own cloud like colors for.
For your dad, my sun - my solid source of strength is my family and a few chosen friends. That's essentially my mom, your mom and her parents, my brothers, Bhabhi, Ramisha and you. Hope at some point in future you find your sun too.
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